Letter to the Ex…(I am sure most of you can relate)

Posted on Jan 19, 2011 in Money Matters, The Ex Factor | 9 comments

DBD (Dead Beat Dad), (Names have been removed to protect the innocent & the guilty)

Obviously we still can’t communicate. That is too bad.

Pertaining to my offer of bringing our son to you in CA, I have decided it is NOT in his best interest at this time. I feel that it would be devastating for him to meet you and then not have you commit to follow up visitation. I’ve asked you several times what your intentions are for follow up and you gave me several excuses why you wouldn’t be able to make that commitment. I never heard you say that you will make a conscious effort to travel here to visit him. As you are aware, I am not in a position to travel to CA every time he wants to see you. Nor do I want to.

You had two and a half years to visit your son while we were still in California and you didn’t. Your reasons are unacceptable. There is absolutely no reason why you couldn’t take a half hour out of any of the 903 days we were there for you to come and meet your son. As a matter of fact, the last time you saw your son was in the supermarket, you were with your girlfriend. You saw us shopping and turned around and ran out of the store.

I have been the only one taking responsibility for Lincoln. I am the only one he knows. I have provided a home for him, a safe environment and loving care since day ONE. I took him to the hospital and paid the bill when he had 106 degree fever. I am the one who was forced to abandon my business after 8 years to take care of our son, because you abandoned us.

As far as you and I, until we can discuss your commitment and your involvement in our son’s life, we have nothing more to say. We obviously have not healed from our wounds. We find it very hard to communicate at all, we just yell. When you can have an adult conversation with me about our son, I am ready to talk. Until then…

And just so you know… I don’t KNOW you! What I do know of you is that you and I got into a fight one night when I was super hormonal and you came home at 3am and I asked you where the FUCK you’ve been. You woke up the next morning and went down to the bank took me off all the accounts and left me with $36 in my pocket. Then you alienated me from yourself and everyone in your family. Then, you sat down in our bedroom and told me “We need a break”. After that you stopped all communication with me. Even a “hello”. Then I was forced to leave our home, it became overwhelmingly stressful, with you running around with your girlfriend. Throwing your new love in my face as I sit in absolute discomfort waiting for our baby to enter the planet.

I remember a time when you came to the studio, as I was working there with you. You grabbed two surf boards and left. You gave me the dirtiest look, like “I’m taking someone special surfing”. I on the other hand was caring our 9 lb 2 oz huge child in my womb and could barely walk.
And I can go on and on and on and on…. Not to mention that 1 month after your son was born, you decided to take a four month vacation to South Africa with your girlfriend. And don’t give me that bullshit that you didn’t have fun… Because I saw pictures of you and her island hopping in a private plane. While I was forced to use all of my savings to rent a cottage for our newborn baby. With no help from you and no help from my family who by the way live 3000 miles away. (which you knew) The measly $700 month you gave us at that time barely paid for the formula and diapers. You didn’t give a fuck, but the formula alone costs $400/month. The diapers another $300/month. Oh, lookie there… $700. And nothing more to pay rent, car, utilities, food, gas, etc. the necessities. But in your mind you think it was a good thing that you “gave us money”! Oh, wait you were renting out your houses and island hopping in South Africa… what was I thinking??? Silly me. that was a “necessity” as you claim. Sort of like the nessessities we needed? Yeah, your right.

So, unless you’ve known what it feels like to wake up with your heart racing out of pure ANXIETY for fear of being thrown out on the street with your baby. I don’t deserve to be yelled at EVER!!! You should be kissing my ass right now and praising me for such a great job I’ve been doing with your son and that you’ll make some type of commitment to your son. …You remember….the one you asked me to have with you.

tennis anyone?

Posted on Jan 14, 2011 in The Ex Factor | 21 comments

I haven’t got the nerve to tell my 3yr old sweet angel he is going to see his Daddy.

I’m planning a trip with my boyfriend. I really need a week away!!! I haven’t celebrated my birthday in 3 years. I didn’t even celebrate my 40th birthday. I mean, not really. I didn’t get to relax and not be concerned about the sitter. I don’t have family around to watch him. Even if they were, they are incapable of doing it. So, I have to rely on my community of friends. It takes a village…

Now, I came up with the plan to bring my son to my ex’s house, then continue on to our vacation. Upon return, pick up my angel and bring him back home.

Everyday, he talks about his Dad as if he’s met him and fantasizes about what kind of car he has or where he lives, or how many motorcycles he owns.

My first thought was, it’ll be good for him to meet his Dad. He’ll at least begin building a relationship with him. This is the logical / hard shell of me that has helped to keep us alive. Then, whamm…. it hits me, and I think I may be making a mistake. If Dad falls in love with his son, which he will… I stand the chance of having him do what he did to me, to my son. Abandon him…

It feels like, I’m sitting on the fence at the tennis courts looking over at each side. Trying to determine which side to climb down.

I might add, I am making it too easy for him to meet his son. I think he should work for it. or….

Tell me what you think?

Sweet Dreams…Peace

The TRUTH about MLM’s

Posted on Jan 4, 2011 in Money Matters | 23 comments

Okay Mom’s let’s talk about MLM’s (Multi-Level Marketing). I am sure as a single mom you get hit up on a regular basis to participate in these ventures. I want to talk a bit about the reality and engagement for some of them out there.
Like me, I am sure some of your friends and family members have talked to you about the new “money maker” in their lives. I’ve investigated a bunch of them myself and here’s what I have to interject:
MLM’s can make you money. Now, i know… you’re thinking “Ugg, I’ve tried it and it doesn’t work”. I’m going to share with you the MLM’s I have participated in and my experience.

Pre-Paid Legal Services -

This seamed like a really great opportunity for me. I mean the concept is remarkable. You as a member get free Legal Services and advise. I actually signed a few people up and used the service myself on several occasions. I even signed up my parents and they used it for their benefit on small legal issues.

Okay, the downside… It takes an ENORMOUS AMOUNT OF TIME. And don’t let anyone tell you differently… this is the reality of ALL MLM’s. It also takes a bit of money to get started.

So, honestly as a Single Mom, how on earth can I participate in an MLM without taking up all my time? When I was doing Pre-Paid Legal I was a Single 30 something WITHOUT CHILD. So how on earth am I supposed to do it now?

Arbone International-

Arbone makes probably the BEST skin care in the world. I can honestly say this because I would get compliments on a daily basis. A friend of mine signed me up just after giving birth. I haven’t really shared my after-birth experience with you yet, but let me just say…HORRIFIC!!! That story is for later. I had EXTREME POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION. I could barely get out of bed. And as a new SINGLE MOM, that was really hard.

My friend thought it would be great for me to “get out there” and sell beauty products…RIGHT…

I think, had I been in a better mindset, it may have been very profitable for me. And again, this took an enormous amount of time and energy, which I didn’t have any of. I guess, my advise would be…Don’t engage in any type of high energy sales-MLM-face to face networking thing unless you are emotionally stable. People will see right through you.

Here I am now, in Northern Idaho and a good friend of mine turned me onto a new MLM. However, this time I am in a better emotional space and this is the most important part…I am at the top of the food chain. This new MLM is just that…NEW. It hasn’t even launched yet. It’s a membership based MLM with tons of benefits. The best part is the compensation plan. My friend Jeff Breakey is a career MLM specialist. He is one of the forefront advisors for MLM’s. There are very few of these guys on the planet. And Jeff just happens to be a close friend.

So, I here is the links to the company. It’s called Q-Save. Maybe you are in a place like me, where you have some time and some money to invest in a residual future for yourself and your family.

Q-SAVE. Please call me if you are interested in signing up or if you have any questions. Staci 208-255-2029

I’ll let you know how it goes for me with a follow up.

If you really want to get a sneak peak into the Opportunity for Prosperity; then join us on a conference call today January 5, 2011 @ 5pm PST. Adjust for your time zone. Here’s the call in information:

CALL 605-475-4360

pin 11480#

Owner or Stoner

Posted on Nov 30, 2010 in Cars | 25 comments

FREE GIVEAWAY @ BOTTOM OF POST

Today is the day I received the Title to my “old” new car. Yes, Mom’s I bought a 1994 Subaru Loyale “Royale”. This is the first car I’ve ever owned the title to. All my other cars have been new and never paid off. There’s something to be said about owning a car that doesn’t have a huge car payment attached every month. I paid $1200 and it’s worth every bit. Now that we live in the frozen tundra of Northern Idaho, we needed a 4Wheel drive or All wheel drive car. I wanted something inexpensive with low miles. This beaute has 118,000 miles on it. That’s really good for the year and make of this car.

Some advise when thinking about purchasing a used car. 1) Always check CarFax.  2) Make sure the car was owned by a GrandMa. 3) Check www.nada.com for the real value of the car. 4) Read the reviews for the car you want to purchase. I know this takes a lot of time out of your day, but it’s worth it. Do it at night when your little angels are asleep. Also, keep in mind the cost of tax. Here in Idaho it’s 6% sales tax. Check your state to find out what that is. Also, keep in mind there are fees for transfer of registration and $5.00 processing fee for registration. These are all costs that can be tacked onto the cost of the car. Of course, don’t tell the seller. You just want to keep this in the back of your mind when you’re negotiation. Oh, and the most important thing…if you’ve got an angel between the ages of 2-5 try to find a sitter when you go to purchase or negotiate. Having our angels around is great but not when we’re talkin’ money. My little guy decided to cry and whine the entire time. I wished I had left him at home with a friend. Be an OWNER not a STONER.

Here’s one review I found for the Snow Master…1994 “Royale” Loyale: Tougher than the little engine that could, and would last forever if maintained properly.

The Snow Master of the North.

FREE GIVAWAY!!!

Since I won’t be needing the other 3 CarFax Reports (which I already paid for). I am giving them away for FREE!!!! To the first 3 people who write a nice comment about this blog and sign up for my Newsletter. Newsletter to come later. Oh, and you have to be a SINGLE MOM!!!! No cheaters…you have to prove you are a Single Mom.

xoxoxox

Poop… to do or doodoo.

Posted on Nov 17, 2010 in Money Matters | 35 comments

We just started a new school and my angel is having a hard time with poop in the potty. He just turned 3. He loves looking at his giant, stinky poop. However, he’s just not ready to feel it comin’ and tell someone.
I caught him the other day in “just in time” thought and put him on the potty and there it went… in the potty!! Yay! I was so excited I baked cupcakes and had a “Poopy Potty Party” it was a huge success. He was so excited and proud that he went in the potty.
Then…. the novelty wore off.
We love the new school, but they are not equip to change diapers. They are a school, not a daycare. They are being super patient with him, however they need me to be “on poop call” during school hours.
This is fine…we live a few blocks away…
But…
What happens when it’s a time where I’m in a meeting? Or in another city on biz? Or… you get my drift…
This made me think about how having a support system in place is critical to single motherhood. I thought “well, this would be a great time to have a husband” since I don’t how can I deal with this? I decided to ask friends if they would step up and be on call in case of an emergency.
I will let you know how it goes… I haven’t asked yet.

Ok, so I did ask and guess what? All my friends I asked said YES. I gave the teacher’s their phone numbers in case I can’t make it. The director at school was so pleased to hear that our friends in our small town would step up to the plate and sacrafice their day to be on “poopy doodoo call”. Just goes to show you that when life gives you lemons, you can make lemonaide. Think out of the BOX… it’s safe…

I wanted to thank you all for the wonderful comments and I am so happy to see you reading and following.